Give advice to a friend

When a friend has a problem, English speakers use some very common phrases to give advice. These phrases are short, friendly, and easy to remember. With these, you can help a friend in almost any situation — at school, at home, or with work.

The most useful pattern is You should + verb. It is direct but kind. You can also say You shouldn't + verb to give a friendly warning. If you want to give a softer suggestion, use Why don't you + verb? or Maybe you could + verb. For personal advice, English speakers often say If I were you, I'd + verb — this is stronger and more personal.

A casual and very common phrase is How about + verb-ing? For example: How about going for a walk? It is friendly, but less strong than you should. To give a practical tip, you can also say Try + verb-ing, for example: Try reading a short story.

Use these phrases in order, from soft to strong:

• Soft: Maybe you could… / How about…?
• Medium: I think you should… / Why don't you…?
• Strong: You should… / If I were you, I'd…

Study the table below. Try to use two or three of these phrases today with a friend.

Scene: Anna tells Ben she has too much homework tonight. Ben gives advice.

Read this advice clearly. Listen for the /ʃ/ sound in 'should' and the /tʃ/ sound in 'teacher'.

In this section, you will listen to a short conversation between two friends. One friend has a problem, and the other friend gives advice. Listen carefully for the advice phrases you studied earlier: I think you should…, You shouldn't…, Why don't you…? and If I were you, I'd….

The scene: Tom has an English exam tomorrow. He is nervous and cannot sleep. He calls his friend Emma late in the evening. Listen for the advice Emma gives — and notice how she is kind but clear. She does not give too many ideas; she gives three or four strong ones.

Before you listen, think: What do you do when you cannot sleep before an exam? What advice would you give a friend in this situation? You will hear Emma's ideas, and then you can compare them with your own.

Key phrases to listen for:

• I think you should stop studying tonight.
• You shouldn't drink coffee before bed.
• Why don't you read a book or listen to music?
• If I were you, I'd go to bed early.

As you listen, try to remember two pieces of advice Emma gives. You will need them for the questions that follow.

Scene: Tom calls Emma the night before his English exam.

What is the main problem in the conversation?

What does Emma tell Tom NOT to do?

When you give advice in English, you will use the word should many times. The sound at the start is the /ʃ/ sound — the 'sh' sound. It is very common in English, and it appears in short everyday words like shoe, shop and fish.

How do you make the sound? Round your lips and push them slightly forward. Raise the front of your tongue close to the roof of your mouth, just behind your top teeth. Let the air flow out through the small gap. Do not use your voice — it is only air, like a long, soft hiss: /ʃʃʃ/. Hold the sound for about one second, then stop. Your mouth should feel a little like a small 'O' shape, and you should feel cool air on your top lip.

Be careful with the difference. The /ʃ/ sound is not the same as the /tʃ/ sound in cheese or chair. In /ʃ/, the air flows continuously. In /tʃ/, the tongue first stops the air and then releases it with a small explosion. The English word ship (/ʃɪp/) is not the same as chip (/tʃɪp/). Listen carefully: ship is long and smooth; chip is short with a hard stop at the start.

Many learners of English say should like swood or shood. The trick is to keep the lips round and forward, and to keep the tongue high and tense. Do not move your tongue during the sound. Try the words below and feel the air on your top lip.

Round your lips and push them forward. Raise the front of your tongue just behind your top teeth. Let the air flow out — no voice, only air. Try the sound /ʃʃʃ/. This is the 'sh' in 'should' and 'shoe'.

Read this word. Push your lips forward and feel the air on your top lip.

Read this sentence. Listen for /ʃ/ at the start of 'should' and 'shop'.

In this section, you will read a problem page — a 'Dear Sara' letter. A young person writes to Sara with a problem, and Sara writes back with advice. This is a very common style of writing in English magazines and websites for young people.

Reading strategy — Skimming: When you skim a text, you read it quickly to get the general idea. You do not stop for every word. Look for the main topic, the problem, and the main advice. Save the details for a second, slower read.

Key words to know before you read:

The problem: Mia's best friend Lily is moving to a new city. Mia feels sad and does not want to lose her friend. She asks Sara for advice. What advice will Sara give? Will the advice be kind? Will it be practical?

Read the letters below carefully, then answer the questions that follow. Remember: first skim for the main idea, then read again for the details.

Dear Sara,

I have a big problem. My best friend Lily is moving to a new city with her family. She is leaving next week. I feel very sad because we do everything together at school. I don't want to lose her. What should I do?

— Mia (13)

Dear Mia,

Thank you for your letter. I am sorry to hear about Lily. First, you should talk to Lily. You can write letters and call her every week. Why don't you make a friendship book together? You can put photos and stories inside. If I were you, I would also ask your parents about visiting her. Friends can stay close, even in different cities.

Good luck!

— Sara

What is the main topic of the two letters?

Now it is your turn to give advice. In this section, you will hear a short model conversation, repeat some key sentences, and then talk to your AI friend.

Useful phrases for giving advice:

• I think you should…
• You should… / You shouldn't…
• Why don't you + verb…?
• If I were you, I'd…
• Maybe you could + verb…
• Try + verb-ing

The model conversation is between Ali and Sara. Ali has a problem — he feels shy about speaking English in class. Sara listens, then gives him three pieces of advice. Listen to the rhythm of the advice, and notice how Sara is kind but clear.

When you speak:

• Speak clearly, not too fast.
• Use the /ʃ/ sound correctly in should and sure.
• Be kind — give one positive thing and one piece of advice.
• Keep your advice short. Two or three sentences are enough.

The roleplay: Your AI friend (Adam) will tell you a small problem. Your job is to give two or three pieces of advice. Use the phrases above. Listen carefully to Adam's problem, and then answer with kind, clear advice.

Model conversation: Ali tells Sara he is shy in English class. Sara gives advice.

Read this advice. Speak clearly and not too fast. Listen for /ʃ/ in 'should'.

Read this advice. Notice the 'If I were you' pattern and the strong stress on 'practise'.

In the last section, you will write a short message of advice. First, look at the model message. Then you will check that you understand it. Finally, you will write your own message and read it aloud.

Model message:

Hi Sam,

Thank you for your message. I am sorry to hear about your problem. You should talk to your teacher about it. Maybe you could also ask your parents for help. I think it will be OK. Don't worry too much.

Good luck!

— Anna

Notice the structure of the model:

• A greeting (Hi Sam)
• A kind opening (I am sorry to hear…)
• Advice with should, could, and I think
• A kind ending (Don't worry… Good luck!)
• A name at the end (— Anna)

Writing strategy — Using 'should' and 'could': To give advice in writing, use should for strong advice, shouldn't for warnings, and could for gentle ideas. You can also start a sentence with I think to make your advice sound softer and kinder. Try to give two or three pieces of advice in your short message. End with something kind, like Good luck! or Don't worry.

Now you will check the model, then write your own short message of advice to a friend.

Writing strategy: Using 'should' and 'could' to give advice. Use 'should' for strong, clear advice. Use 'shouldn't' for a friendly warning. Use 'could' for a softer, gentler idea. You can also begin a sentence with 'I think' to make your advice sound kinder. In a short message, give two or three pieces of advice, and end with something kind like 'Good luck!' or 'Don't worry.'

Which sentence gives a SOFT idea, not strong advice?

Now write your own short message of advice to a friend (about a small problem, like too much homework or feeling tired). When you finish, read your message aloud.